On documentaries, Stephen Fry, and wanting to be important

As I write, I’m watching Stephen Fry’s recent documentary on homosexuality around the world, Out There. It’s a subject that hits close to home, as a bisexual with a lot of LGBT friends. (And no, I’m not as good at multitasking as I like to believe, so apologies in advance for typing errors.)

To be honest though, it’s documentaries like these that remind me that what I want to do, is make documentaries. I want to make videos about the problems in the world, and maybe, hopefully, change someones perspective on something. I often forget what it is I want to do, or I get confused or uncertain.

It’s a common thing for people my age: wanting to be important, to mean something, to change something. To not spend this one, short life disappearing in the crowds. The problem is where to begin. With so many people wanting to stand out and be important, it’s often easy to give up before even starting and resign to a standard life with a standard house and a dog and 2.3 children.

I, too, am very tempted lately to just give up. With no financial back up, no training,no connections, no experience, together with depression, it’s hard to keep going.

And that’s why Stephen Fry is such a rolemodel for me, and why documentaries like these help me so much. Here’s a man who has had so much against him: gay, bipolar, a history with imprisonment. And look where he is now.

Then again, as much as I may look up to Stephen Fry and as much as I want to make documentaries and Change The World, I also think I’d be a horrible documentary maker. I also know how difficult that world is, with its budget cuts and everything. It’s difficult and complicated and expensive and I have no idea where to even start.

So I’ll stick to blogging for now, and see where that gets me. That’s difficult enough for me as it is.

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