I have moved on again, and am currently in Cardiff. Wales looks nice, from what I saw from the bus, but after a 6,5 hour long busride with nothing more to eat than a small bag of crisps because I didn’t have the chance to buy proper food, I was hungry, cranky, and just overall felt ill when I arrived.
I’m better now, having eaten lunch, dinner, and snacks in a few hours’ time. It did first result in a pretty bad anxiety and panic attack though. But I’m doing much better already.
Still, after all the socialising in the past 2 weeks, and although I thoroughly enjoyed that, I am really glad to have some time to myself again. Sure, it also means going back to the awkward moments at restaurants when it turns out that yes, I would like a table for one, please, if that’s possible. But it also means solitude, time to recharge, taking my time at whatever I want to do and not having to rush anywhere to meet anyone or rushing through something because the other person is obviously not enjoying him/herself.
Being alone also means less distraction from my own thoughts, which can be just as exhausting and dangerous a thing, but for now I’m happy to be on my own.
It feels strange to realise this is my last week in the UK though. Still not sure what to think of it. Hmm. I’m at a strange point where I don’t want to leave, but I don’t want to continue on like this either. Traveling at this speed is fun, but also exhausting, and I can feel my body giving in more and more. Just one more week, and then I can sleep as much as I want and eat breakfast whenever I want and do laundry and cook my own meals. Still not sure if I wouldn’t mind being in the UK for a longer period of time if it means I can do all those things and be here at the same time.
My thoughts, as you can see, are a mess I’m currently incapable of untangling. Apologies for the random rants.