On my fascination with psychopathy & sociopathy (or really psychology in general)

First off: I am well aware that these two pathological disorders (naming them disorders for lack of a better term right now) are very popular in the media right now. They have always been popular, although recently the attention seems to be increasing. But at the risk of sounding like a hipster (is there even such a thing as a psychology-hipster?), I have always been interested in psychology.

I think a large part of this fascination stems from my natural curiosity into everything. And psychology is such an interesting field. All new and shiny, compared to other sciences. The workings of the human mind are so complicated and fascinating, it`s amazing.

But while psychology is in itself already fascinating, I have found that especially such disorders as psychopathy and sociopathy fascinate me.

There are several reasons for this. Please note that I`m not saying these reasons count for everyone. I`m sure a lot of people have different reasons to be interested.

But for me, personally, what I find most fascinating is the apparent lack of remorse. I find the capability of manipulating your surroundings as if people are all pieces of a chess game, without  feeling any remorse or shame about it astounding. It`s actually something I`m jealous of.

I, myself, often have too much emotion, to a point where I lock up and shove it all away because it gets too much. I am utterly incapable of manipulating my surroundings, instead being dragged and pushed to wherever everyone else wants me to be, without having any say in the matter.

As such, I find the idea of a person who`s in control, well, inspiring. I look up to these people, and marvel at their ability to manipulate. I marvel at how they can play games with people, at how confident they are, and in case of characters like Sherlock Holmes and Hannibal Lecter, I also marvel at their intelligence.

While everyday people on the street annoy me to no end, I find these “special cases” extremely interesting. In a strange way, they inspire me to work harder at not getting manipulated as much. They teach me how to take control more and how to manipulate other people. They also scare me, because of the things they are capable of, but it`s mostly really a strange fascination.

As long as I get to keep my distance from them, that is. I don`t think I`ll still find them that fascinating when they mess with me.

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